Is this recent change because it is his just time to be verbal…. or is it because we made the diet changes and removed dairy? He’s late on expressive language, but its certainly interesting timing that all of a sudden he’s talking a LOT more. That is one of the documented outcomes for autistic and special needs children when dairy and gluten are removed. We’ll never really know, but it’s certainly thought provoking.
We had the first speech evaluation by the county therapist on Thursday, it was kind of a joke actually. She didn’t “evaluate” anything with him, I don’t think she even talked to him. She spent the whole hour asking me questions. I wondered at the end why I had to leave work to meet her at home for this appointment, I could have answered all of this about what he comprehends and says on the phone with her.
She was a bit argumentitive with me when I told her the level of his comprehension (which is quite vast in English and Spanish). He understands a lot, can sign several things, answers many questions, has tricks to point to things, etc. It was painful, as if she didn't trust my answers... what am I going to do, lie about the number of words he knows? At the end she didn’t really have any “speech” recommendations to enhance his expressive language, just that we should teach him more signs. What?! I thought you were a speech therapist! She asked me what my goals were for him...more signs or more speech. Is it just me or is that a really dumb question? I mean, I love that he can do several signs to communicate now, but that's not what we utlimately want. Ummmm, I choose speech?? I told her I had no reason to believe that he wouldn’t talk, he’s just late… like everything else. He's mimicking beautifully, which is the first step, and now communicating with tiny words. She was unimpressed with his new expression of "hi", just told me that at over two years old, that he should have 100 expressive words in his vocabulary. I remember my step-brother when he was two, all he said for awhile was this cute little “hi…hi…hi” for everything. He was a completely healthy child and is now a very bright college student making straight A's. Why is Lucas any different? I feel like they are just looking to label deficiencies due to his history. Its kind of like when doctors just automatically assume brain bleed = can't eat on his own, won't walk, talk, etc.
She said a few times, “but he’s over two.” I said again, “he’s nowhere near two, he’s about one developmentally due to his injuries and many surgeries last year.” She said, “well we don’t correct at the county level, so we consider him two, and therefore he’s really delayed.” Ugh, if I hear one more freaking time from a therapist that, “he’s two years old, he should be doing xx”, and then marking him as “under par” and a problem for his age, I’m going to scream. I’m so tired of this concept of catching them up… they are not going to “catch up!” They are going to get there (albeit late) by going through the stages and steps like everyone else, and they will get to 10, after they’ve completed steps 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9! This is not a game of Sorry, where you land on 2 and get to slide to 10 in one step, all kids have to go through the same steps!
I also told her that he is learning Spanish as rapidly as English and that I’d heard that kids were later to speak when they were learning two languages early-on. She didn’t really concur or seem impressed that he knew so much Spanish, just said that “Lucas is very late for two years old.”
After she left, I talked with our nanny about what the therapist said, and she was just as defensive as I was! Ha. Lucas can point to 20 or so body parts on command of either word, comprehends all phrases in both languages, and can sign for everything hearing either language... and she said that kids older than him at the park (with their Spanish speaking nannies) don’t know both languages! She said the other nannies comment all the time how impressed they are that he knows so much in both. So… there is NO doubt that he’s on par or over the mark with his comprehension! I am not worried at all that the expressive will follow in time.
I told the therapist that I noticed when he tries to imitate certain words, he does not articulate properly. Like when you say “uh oh”, he’ll repeat, “uh uh”. He can’t do the “o” sound. He’s probably just being a normal kid learning to talk, but when do you know when it is a speech problem and needs early intervention? She didn’t seem concerned, nor did she have an answer or advice. She just told us to add four new signs a month. She said she’d come back in three months and start therapy when and “if” he has more words. Ugh.
Another update from that appointment… I mentioned she gave us the honey bear and big aquarium straw to help him learn to use a straw last time. Well, he didn’t like it after a few tries so I decided to try a regular ol’ juice box with a tiny toddler straw. He did it on the first try and every time after that! Its so much easier for him with the tiny straw than getting all that fluid from the large straw. He doesn’t take successive drinks yet, but he totally knows what he’s doing with a straw. He even took a few sips out of an adult straw the other night at a restaurant. So much for therapeutic approaches! I told her this when she was doing the speech eval this week. I could tell she didn’t believe me and wasn't happy, she challenged me on why I didn’t continue her recommendation... reminding me that "there was a reason she wanted me to use it to teach him the proper use of his mouth sealing the straw." I told her I thought he was doing it well on his own, so I showed her at the end of the appointment… she said “wow, he did it perfectly!” Yes Joan, that’s what I told you.
She also questioned our decision to remove dairy from his diet, and I felt myself on the defense trying to justify our position. You would think someone in her position working with special needs kids would be familiar and understand, as this approach is certainly not new and is widely used. I finally gave up trying to explain and figured it didn't really matter if she was on board or not. I absolutely believe we are doing the right thing with his diet after seeing his changes the past couple weeks... and the skin patches he had are completely gone (without the use of pharmaceuticals or lotions...just diet).
Sorry if I sound cynical, I have just grown very tired of therapists lately and their textbook approaches (this excludes our wonderful ABM therapists). I think the speech therapist officially goes onto the “not welcomed back” list! I really appreciate all the wonderful advice we’ve received over the past year (after all, not many people get to have a bunch of child experts weighing in and giving developmental advice at every step)… but its so exhausting sometimes. Sometimes I just want to raise our child the way it was intended, and to follow my instincts.
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Enough of that... New York City, here we come! We decided to drive instead of take the train like we normally do. Bran can't wait to drive in a place where it is perfectly acceptable to cut off other cars, honk your horn, and yell at other drivers!
Here's a few pictures from a couple weeks ago at the pool, he's getting very comfortable with the water now!
Swimming with Daddy
Fun being thrown in the air!
Playing motor boat
Hanging with Anna & Nicholas
Attacked by all the kids
Getting some sugar from Abby
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